raxeira: by raxeira (s;; plait)
That's a wrap on 2018. Finally. It was a long year, and I'm glad it's over. I took on a lot of big commitments and worked hard to accomplish them. I wrote new kinds of stories and tried new ways to commit to my writing. I'm proud of all I accomplished, and also exhausted by it.

2018 by the Numbers
Days Writing: 350
Hours Worked: about 220
Words Written: 283,201

I worked more consistently on writing than ever before in 2018. I wrote for 350 days out of the year, and though on many days I wrote for a consistent period of time, there were many other days when I only managed to write for 10 or 15 minutes because of exhaustion. I won two NaNo's - one in July and one in November. I wrote the first part of a new novel in November, but it needs a lot of work and re-organization before I can move on. I wrote a good, complete first draft of an MG novel in July, and I'm looking forward to rewriting it this year. I worked to revise old novels and short stories last year. I wrote some poetry and some new short stories.

Looking back, I'm not entirely pleased with what I accomplished last year. I worked hard, but often to exhaustion. I didn't finish very much of anything, getting exhausted with revisions mid-way through and abandoning them, or moving on to start new stories. From years of experience, I think I've finally bludgeoned it into my head that I'm no good at commitments longer than 1 month. I can work on a story for a month with determination before I start to get annoyed and exhausted by the project. Then I have to set it aside, and often I don't come back to it for a long time.

That's why I'm looking forward to 2019 being a different year. I'm keeping my resolutions simple and small, and checking in often. For January, I'm starting with weekly resolutions and working my way up from there. I was going through my emails the other day when I stumbled over a NaNo pep talk from Min Jin Lee (the author of the novel Pachinko). She talked about the way so many of us as authors write with big goals, like being respectable and getting praise, or with changing the world. I have certainly fallen into this trap many times, and put far too much pressure on myself to create profound things. This is one of the big reasons I struggle with my writing. Instead, Lee says...
Forget the book you think you need to write to get recognition, respectability, or praise. These things—if they happen at all—don’t come if you look for them. I want to encourage you to seek answers to your big, specific, personal questions in the form of fiction.

It was just the right reminder at just the right time. It reinforced the idea that was always brewing in the back of my head. In 2019 I want to find myself as a writer. I want to discover my personal style and find those questions that I want to explore. I want to read more in order to deepen my expertise and learn new skills. I want to discover what resonates about writing for me, and the kinds of stories that I want to tell. I don't know if I can go on writing without actively seeking those questions and answers.

This is a huge goal, with many parts. I'm not sure I'll meet this goal in 2019. I have to balance knowing myself with revision and word count and habit goals. I've stepped back my goals for 2019 so that I have more room to write when I can, not when I have to. I need to find what works for me, and how to be the best writer possible. I can't let myself fall into old habits because they're easy. I'm dedicating 2019 to asking questions and making small goals.

So for the beginning of the year, I have 2 goals to work toward this week: read 2 books, write 3 poems. I'm working toward them. But if I don't meet those goals, that's okay. There's always next week, and I'll have learned something about myself in the process.

Q&A

2018-07-25 06:23
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
A few questions from the Writer's Meme, as kindly asked by [personal profile] oanja. Thanks so much for asking! Sorry I didn't get to these right away!

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

Oh, definitely the middle. It's that strange, nebulous part where everything can go in a thousand directions. I'm a fairly loose planner, so when I write I tend to find that my stories don't have solid structure. I start with a clear idea, start to feel my way toward the ending, and then get completely lost. My first drafts have messy middles that lead me in all sorts of wonderful new ideas, and which are hell to revise. I think this is why I haven't finished revising anything yet. Even on a second and third draft, I get lost somewhere in the middle and never find my way back out again.

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Single! I prefer to write and read single-character POV stories because I love the secrets. A single character can never know anything, and I love that fact. I like no knowing what's coming next and being in suspense with the character. (See above answer to learn how this fucks with my plotting and structure.) I've also found that I get overwhelmed with more than one character. I tend to get lost in a single character's story, and I can see a thousand different possibilities for them. That's hard enough. When I try to tackle more than one main character, my stories turn into an absolute mess. I did it once, and it was... awful.

2. Favorite part of writing.

Dreaming.

While I love the process of writing (especially a first draft), and sharing my writing with others always makes me jump for joy, it's the dreaming part that is the most exciting. I dream of new stories and places, new characters and plots, and of days when my stories will be published. I know it'll happen, but right now I'm still dreaming, and so that's the best part.

If you have a question you'd like to know the answer to, ask away! I'm always open! :)
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
I think we're all going to have to accept that I'm just awful at posting. This is true of all social media forums, where I consistently forget to post, comment, or involve myself regularly. So you have to believe me when I say that it isn't you - it really, really, truly is me.

Anyway, it's been a rough few months on the job & writing front. I'm doing all the right things (applying for jobs, promoting myself, writing, submitting stories), but nothing seems to be working out. And it's an awful, frustrating feeling. So instead of wallowing in it, I have decided to try to focus on the positive. Which is: I feel good about what I've been writing lately, and I'd like to talk more about writing.

I want to do this Writer's Meme (stolen from tumblr) but not all of it (because my god that's a lot). Pick a prompt or two or five for me to answer, and I will! Within the next week! With pictures! (I promise that I will manage to include at least 2 images with every response.

Writer's Prompts! )

Feel free to share/steal the list. I can link if credit is needed. I just stole it from tumblr, as previously mentioned. :)
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
I'm considering trying to write something in the middle grade genre (ages 8-12) this summer, and I'm looking for prompts! This isn't a genre I've tried out before, and I'm not sure where to start. I just need a word or image to get me going so that I can start planning now.

I'll take any kind of prompts, really. From very simple one-word prompts to the situational ones. Any ideas you can send my way would be very appreciated.

Thanks!
raxeira: by raxeira (s;; heat)
I'm currently looking for a reader for some of my original fiction. I am in the process of revising two novel-length works and am looking trying to write more short stories. As I finish things, I need for a reader to give me some feedback. Are any of you available to read a few things? There is no rush on anything, and I rarely finish things - I'm just looking for someone to reach out to when I do. What do you think? Anyone available?

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Laura
writer of spec fic, poetry, and memoir
she/her
formerly lmeden, incandescent

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raxeira: by raxeira (Default)
raxeira

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