2018 by the Numbers
Days Writing: 350
Hours Worked: about 220
Words Written: 283,201
I worked more consistently on writing than ever before in 2018. I wrote for 350 days out of the year, and though on many days I wrote for a consistent period of time, there were many other days when I only managed to write for 10 or 15 minutes because of exhaustion. I won two NaNo's - one in July and one in November. I wrote the first part of a new novel in November, but it needs a lot of work and re-organization before I can move on. I wrote a good, complete first draft of an MG novel in July, and I'm looking forward to rewriting it this year. I worked to revise old novels and short stories last year. I wrote some poetry and some new short stories.
Looking back, I'm not entirely pleased with what I accomplished last year. I worked hard, but often to exhaustion. I didn't finish very much of anything, getting exhausted with revisions mid-way through and abandoning them, or moving on to start new stories. From years of experience, I think I've finally bludgeoned it into my head that I'm no good at commitments longer than 1 month. I can work on a story for a month with determination before I start to get annoyed and exhausted by the project. Then I have to set it aside, and often I don't come back to it for a long time.
That's why I'm looking forward to 2019 being a different year. I'm keeping my resolutions simple and small, and checking in often. For January, I'm starting with weekly resolutions and working my way up from there. I was going through my emails the other day when I stumbled over a NaNo pep talk from Min Jin Lee (the author of the novel Pachinko). She talked about the way so many of us as authors write with big goals, like being respectable and getting praise, or with changing the world. I have certainly fallen into this trap many times, and put far too much pressure on myself to create profound things. This is one of the big reasons I struggle with my writing. Instead, Lee says...
Forget the book you think you need to write to get recognition, respectability, or praise. These things—if they happen at all—don’t come if you look for them. I want to encourage you to seek answers to your big, specific, personal questions in the form of fiction.
It was just the right reminder at just the right time. It reinforced the idea that was always brewing in the back of my head. In 2019 I want to find myself as a writer. I want to discover my personal style and find those questions that I want to explore. I want to read more in order to deepen my expertise and learn new skills. I want to discover what resonates about writing for me, and the kinds of stories that I want to tell. I don't know if I can go on writing without actively seeking those questions and answers.
This is a huge goal, with many parts. I'm not sure I'll meet this goal in 2019. I have to balance knowing myself with revision and word count and habit goals. I've stepped back my goals for 2019 so that I have more room to write when I can, not when I have to. I need to find what works for me, and how to be the best writer possible. I can't let myself fall into old habits because they're easy. I'm dedicating 2019 to asking questions and making small goals.
So for the beginning of the year, I have 2 goals to work toward this week: read 2 books, write 3 poems. I'm working toward them. But if I don't meet those goals, that's okay. There's always next week, and I'll have learned something about myself in the process.