raxeira: (Default)
the year-long post of 2017

scrapbook )

goals )

updated 10/11
raxeira: (HAPPY!)
Hello Author!

Thank you so much for writing for me this Yuletide season! I'm so thrilled and excited, and I can't wait to read what you create!

Details below... )
raxeira: (shadowed)
I've just signed up to write for [community profile] fandomlovespuertorico, an auction meant to send money to benefit the relief and recovery of Puerto Rico. I'm excited and glad to be able to contribute and do something to help out. My thread is here.

Even if you're not interested in buying something from me (though I would love it if you would), you should definitely check out the page. There are AMAZING things on off in the auction, and I think I may be snatching a couple of them up myself. Go check it out, and help out!
raxeira: (demon)
I'm currently on the hunt for a beta for some poetry and original fiction. I would like to help with some of the short stories and poems I have been working on recently, but I will also have novel-length work that needs revision in the future.

I have some amazing friends who have helped me with beta-ing before, but since it's been a while and life circumstances may have changed, I'm sending out the open call.

Let me know if you're interested in taking a look at any of my work! I could really use the help.

Thanks! :)
raxeira: (got;; missandei)
made Queen
-->this poem is written in response to 2 prompts. The first is to pick up the nearest book and look at page 29, choosing 10 words that resonate and can be used in a poem (the words are underlined here). The second was for the literary device of caesura, which is a fascinating and wildly challenging thing. I had fun with this, and it also drives me mad. All you have to do it pause when you see the parallel marks || while reading as usual.

made Queen )

read/share on tumblr
raxeira: (pink smoke)

Lo to Earth
-->inspired by a some images from tumblr and the prompt "Deus ex Machina", though I know this is very far from the trope. Written in one day for #7Days7Stories as my Sunday entry, and I like it enough that I plan to submit all over the place soon.

It is a strange quirk of Okan that renders the scene of the crime so aggressively… savage, Lo thinks. The blood spreads across the clearing in broad slashes, vibrant and shining like rubies. The low gravitational pull of the planet combined with the heavy atmosphere holds the blood suspended in viscous gobbets in the air around Alex’s body. It forms a screen between them and it, so that Alex is rendered in pieces: a bent right arm flung to the side, legs twisted and one clearly broken, his face buried into the dark vegetation as if he’d fallen forward while running. The slashes across his back are deep, parting fabric and muscles and bone. His g-harness lays around him like a pair of broken wings. His body is limp and still against the planet’s surface. Only the dead can touch the ground in Okan.

Read more... )

read/share on tumblr

raxeira: (drowning)

mourning time
-->inspired by deep exhaustion and the longing for sleep

mourning time )

read/share on tumblr
raxeira: (pink smoke)
Hello, hello!

I suppose this is a proper greeting, because I'm officially moving here to DW for the foreseeable future. I've become rather disillusioned with livejournal (where my blog currently lives) over the past few years, and though it was once a home for me, it is neither inspiring nor comfortable anymore. I've been so thrilled by the response to my moving post, and how so many of my good friends from LJ are friending me here and opening up their journals to me. If you're reading this, thank you! I'm so glad to see you.

I've been a rather terrible blogger for many years. I post infrequently, and only sometimes do I post the interesting things - like writing or photos. Mostly I complain about work and the weather. Lots of complaints about the weather.

So if you're new to me, or have forgotten, here's a brief intro:
  • Laura
  • mid-20s
  • aspiring writer of fantasy novels
  • former writer of fanfiction (lots of fanfiction)
  • current reader of fanfiction (LOTS of fanfiction)
  • my interests are posted on my profile, but I will sum it up here: I love fantasy of all kinds, especially the kind dealing with mythology and magic. I love to talk writing and brainstorm story ideas, and I could go on all night about my own writing. I love spending time outside and with friends and family, but I also struggle with those things. I'm always open to trying new things, but I don't have much free time, so my rate of finishing things tends to be slow.

I'm very happy to be here, and thank you for reading! You're all amazing!

raxeira: (Default)
So excited about my new bingo card! I'm looking forward to working my way through it. (I think [personal profile] theemdash gave me all the hard and unusual ones, lol.) I'll include links here when I finish things.

Deus ex Machina - "Lo to Earth" (DW | Tumblr)
Caesura - "made Queen" (DW | Tumblr)
raxeira: (Default)
the empty sky above
--for [personal profile] interfaceleader's prompt: "She would never go home again." I'm sure it isn't what she wanted, but... that's how these things go, I guess. Hope she likes it anyway!

the empty sky above )
raxeira: (Default)
the inescapable sensation of flying just before you hit the ground
--for [profile] cookielaura and her lovely prompt of "dying embers" (I feel like I should apologize, because this is a lot stranger than I intended. But it's also completely me, so I won't grovel too much. I also ride the English language and perspective pretty hard in this, so prepare yourself.)

As the last of the embers flicker and die... )
raxeira: (Default)
black water
--a fairy tale for the prompt "monsters" by [personal profile] wildrose

Once upon a time... )
raxeira: (ob;; zealot)
I'm looking back on 2016, and feeling a bit surprised! So much has happened! I had a job, lost it, and got a new one. I moved out of my parents' house and into my own apartment. I wrote a complete draft of a novel and revised it. It hasn't been everything that I expected, or everything I wanted, but it's been good. At the beginning of the year I set some goals for myself, which I wanted to look back on as this year comes to an end.

Upon Reflection... )


Nov. 14th, 2016 08:14 pm
raxeira: (f;; lorde)

While the world slowly unravels, like the edge of that old sweater that you have worn so many times it is given up entirely, life continues.

I went to work on Thursday and Friday at my second job, which is teaching art. It was exhausting, but enjoyable. I found myself thinking that it was good that I was busy so that I didn't have to dwell on the madness that has been consuming us all.

There have been racist attacks across the country. I am a white woman living in a relatively wealthy, mostly rural region of the northeast. By all reasonable standards, I am safe. I think it would be very easy for me to forget the danger that others are in, just because my days are still very normal.

I've kept writing and going to work. I have been reading really thoughtful articles from the NYT and watching some excellent pundits (including excellent segments from Samantha Bee and John Oliver) to make sense of it all. I had friends over on Saturday and we all drank too much and sobbed (in our very special, white liberal way) a bit at the thought of what the next few years will bring.

I've been trying to gather ways to be involved and support worthy organizations,and have decided that just buying shirts and bumper stickers and wearing pinsmay not be the best way to go about it. So I've donated to the ACLU (advocating for the development and support of civil rights for all) and have gathered some more links for organizations that I want to support. I don't have enough money to donate very much now, but I plan to do so as soon as I'm able. Here are some of the organizations I've heard of and been looking into:

That's all I have. If you can donate to support, please do. And if you know of any other organizations I should keep in mind, please let me know about them so that I can add to my list.

This puts my in mind of that sweater. The one you love, that you've worn half to death. We've all (or at least I have) had this perception of the world as generally good. America may not be perfect, I thought, but it's headed for good things. I always believed that our country was broken but healing. That warm sweater of denial was very comfortable, I've found,and this election hasn't so much unravelled an edge as snipped open some gaping holes. I can't deny it any longer - the world around us isn't headed for good things. It's devouring itself through greed and selfishness; people ignoring the vulnerable and pushing down the weak to get what they want. The worst thing is that we are all capable of this in little ways, simply because of how society is set up. I keep reminding myself that I am part of the problem, and I have to work to change that.

I'm not despairing, though. I think we can yank society back toward the path of kindness and respect. But it's going to be one hell of a fight,and I don't think it will be pretty. It will require humility and patience, none of which I have in great supply.

I'm working on it.

raxeira: (hp;; rock on)
Dear Yuletide Author,

Thank you! You are an amazing person for writing something for me, and I'm so excited to read whatever you create. All you need to know about me is that I love nuanced characters, outrageous and complex plots, and reversals of fate. I adore antiheroes and villains, and I always love digging into the worldbuilding of myths and legends.

I will be more specific below, but whatever you do, happy writing!

Fandom Specifics )

the iris

May. 26th, 2016 10:19 pm
raxeira: (s;; sea)
When I leave this place, I leave a patch of iris bulbs. They are in the back garden, sandwiched between brick-lain walls in a patch of dirt that has been mostly forgotten and gone to seed. One has bloomed, a deep crimson with wild streaks of yellow running from base to tip. They are caught in a web of shadow.

I brought the kids out, all twenty-three, to plant them in a wobbly line along the edge of the garden. They huddled in the grass, crouching tentatively to avoid all manner of creepy-crawly things that lurked in their imaginations. When we tamped the dirt down around the bulbs they shook and shivered, the grey clouds that had hung over us for most of a month having sunk into their bones.

For weeks afterward, the plants hung on at the edge of death; I watched nervously from the window until the sun came out and the rains poured down and the browning edges of the leaves turned green and strong, jagged blades pointed toward the sun.

I leave in three weeks. They’ve told me to go, that I’m unneeded. More accurately, they say that I’m not good enough. I have been fired, but in the way of the coward, in which I mean that I have been forgotten by choice.

I pack up my room now. I take something each day – a book, a picture from the wall, a box of supplies. I haven’t taken out the larger things yet, which I worked so hard to find and bring in, piece by piece, straining to shoulder alone. (I should have asked for help with the load, but I’ve never been one to rely on others.) Soon the room will be bare and sparse. The kids haven’t noticed that the things that make our room special are disappearing, one by one.

I will not take the iris. They deserve to stay and flourish, to reach up to the sun and spread the sharp edges of their leaves. The delicate confections of their flowers are wild things. Under the bushes heavy with white blooms, I hope the iris will spread and multiply, taking over the space outside my window in a way that I never could.

When I leave, the iris will stay. It’s likely I will never see the rest bloom. Others will; they will see the blooms that come each year and brighten this shadowed place.

They will see the riot of color that rises from black earth, where we went out and shivered, my children and I. Where we pushed our hands into the damp ground to make new life.

They will see what was left behind.

Petals, sweeping open to embrace the sky.
raxeira: (f;; lorde)
You Will Be Asked

When you go on a job interview
you will be asked:
What are three words that describe you?
It's a stock question
(hint: they haven't prepared, nor read your application)
You should not take this question seriously, 
never answer with the truth.

Do not tell them 
you are a romantic
you fall in love as easy as breathing 
never learn from your mistakes.
You hate to admit it: the word
romantic is
childhood movies with Princes Most Charming and Princesses Most Beautiful who would rather lie asleep than go after what they most want; 
movies with chance meetings and mistaken identities, with men who are charmingly rude and women who realize the power of love (almost) too late to be saved; 
to be romantic is to be weak,
to be needy,
to be a woman.
(You/They forget 
romantic is
to see the beautiful in the world around you,
to open your heart to new people,
to believe that every new person you meet is a new friend,
just maybe.)

Do not tell them 
you are forgetful,
often found 
stars in your eyes. 
Don't let them know 
you miss emails 
lose your glasses, 
you sometimes stop in the street with a dream in your head that blocks out all else
you've forgotten a thousand and one nightmares
anticipate ten thousand more.
You look at something red and forget where you are,
forget reality (cast it away)
for the slippery slick of blood at a murder scene;
you see clouds moving across a porcelain sky
consider how it would feel to roll and roil and tear yourself to pieces;
smell cut grass 
imagine pristine 50s lawns 
movie sets with pastel houses.
You forget 
you have a body 
lose your mind in the possibilities.

Above all,
don't tell them 
you are insubordinate.
You read porn in your spare time 
eat chocolate black enough to rot your insides
watch illegal movies instead of doing work, 
get splendid grades anyway.
You write terrible prose
worse poetry, 
words a piercing addiction you cannot shake.
You close the doors and make art, laugh, scream.
You are not stupid: you see the lines drawn in the
sand and neatly step over them; you are the invisible
ghost of what they will never admit to wanting,
what you will never admit to having.
You know that rules exist --
they are not for you.
You refuse to hate yourself 
your desires, 
if you could be paid for them you would flaunt them.
It's a matter of money, really.

These are the things you will think
in a job interview,
when they ask you That Question.
Don't say them.
Lock your lips,
seal away the key.
You are not
to be such would be
to be

You will lie.
You will be steely-eyed.
You will be inhuman.
you will get the job.

TBR - 2015

Jan. 1st, 2016 10:22 am
raxeira: (s;; hair ii)
Books read: 29 total
Books from list read: 3

So here is the list of 12 books that I have been languishing on my shelves forever, which I solemnly swear will definiteily probably try to read this year. In no particular order, since I'm picking them from the jar. Once I've read one, I'll make a post and link back to here.

Latro in the Mist // Gene Wolfe
The Diamond Age // Neal Stephenson
The Goldfinch // Donna Tartt - ★★★★
The Girl Who Played with Fire // Stieg Larsson
Tess of the d’Urbervilles // Thomas Hardy
The English Patient // Michael Ondaatje
Eugene Onegin // Alexander Pushkin
Never Let Me Go // Kazuo Ishiguro
Tenth of December // George Saunders
The Shining // Stephen King - ★★★★
The Giver // Lois Lowry - ★★
The Sardonyx Net // Elizabeth A Lynn

+2 alternates (in case any of the others turn out to be terrible)
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? // Philip K Dick
The Song of Achilles // Madelline Miller

Also read... )
raxeira: (misc;; city cat)
  • Likes. Rich characterizations and worldbuilding. Believably flawed characters. Backstories that effect a current plot. Characters struggling with themselves and other characters as the main plot device. Murder mysteries, Time Travel (Time Loops!). Modern day AUs (they crack me up). Sexual tension. Delayed gratification. Characters fighting for what they believe in. Characters getting it wrong. Cities. Descriptions of cities. Historical AUs (they make me happy to dive into the drama). Mythology. More worldbuilding. Long fics.
  • Dislikes. Stories based on conversation. Tropes that are barely explained/used gratuitously. Characters who have a happy ending without fighting for it. Torture/kink porn (on its own). Poor grammar and formatting. Quick romances. Characters who are flat or wimpy. Shmoop. Whump. Hurt/comfort. Daddy kink. AUs that take themselves too seriously. Crossovers. Flat original characters (they have a name, but no personality, or they're a stereotype). Un-betaed fics.

If you have a question about a kink, just ask! Generally I'm not as into kink these days, so sticking to gen and character development is a safe choice. :)

Now to the requests... )


Dec. 30th, 2015 10:49 pm
raxeira: (m;; grimes)
We're not very far from the end of 2015, so I thought I might post a bit about my year - how it went, the best things I read and watched, and the worst parts of the year. So, without furhter ado...

2015 )

for 2016
Be a better vegetarian.
Attend yoga classes twice a week.
Run a 5K.
Finish a novel.
Get a short story published.
Get my own place to live.
Read more challenging books.
Spend more time with friends - quality time.
Be a better friend on social media.

Long list! But hell, it's a whole year.

A girl's got to do something.


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