raxeira: by raxeira (s;; plait)
That's a wrap on 2018. Finally. It was a long year, and I'm glad it's over. I took on a lot of big commitments and worked hard to accomplish them. I wrote new kinds of stories and tried new ways to commit to my writing. I'm proud of all I accomplished, and also exhausted by it.

2018 by the Numbers
Days Writing: 350
Hours Worked: about 220
Words Written: 283,201

I worked more consistently on writing than ever before in 2018. I wrote for 350 days out of the year, and though on many days I wrote for a consistent period of time, there were many other days when I only managed to write for 10 or 15 minutes because of exhaustion. I won two NaNo's - one in July and one in November. I wrote the first part of a new novel in November, but it needs a lot of work and re-organization before I can move on. I wrote a good, complete first draft of an MG novel in July, and I'm looking forward to rewriting it this year. I worked to revise old novels and short stories last year. I wrote some poetry and some new short stories.

Looking back, I'm not entirely pleased with what I accomplished last year. I worked hard, but often to exhaustion. I didn't finish very much of anything, getting exhausted with revisions mid-way through and abandoning them, or moving on to start new stories. From years of experience, I think I've finally bludgeoned it into my head that I'm no good at commitments longer than 1 month. I can work on a story for a month with determination before I start to get annoyed and exhausted by the project. Then I have to set it aside, and often I don't come back to it for a long time.

That's why I'm looking forward to 2019 being a different year. I'm keeping my resolutions simple and small, and checking in often. For January, I'm starting with weekly resolutions and working my way up from there. I was going through my emails the other day when I stumbled over a NaNo pep talk from Min Jin Lee (the author of the novel Pachinko). She talked about the way so many of us as authors write with big goals, like being respectable and getting praise, or with changing the world. I have certainly fallen into this trap many times, and put far too much pressure on myself to create profound things. This is one of the big reasons I struggle with my writing. Instead, Lee says...
Forget the book you think you need to write to get recognition, respectability, or praise. These things—if they happen at all—don’t come if you look for them. I want to encourage you to seek answers to your big, specific, personal questions in the form of fiction.

It was just the right reminder at just the right time. It reinforced the idea that was always brewing in the back of my head. In 2019 I want to find myself as a writer. I want to discover my personal style and find those questions that I want to explore. I want to read more in order to deepen my expertise and learn new skills. I want to discover what resonates about writing for me, and the kinds of stories that I want to tell. I don't know if I can go on writing without actively seeking those questions and answers.

This is a huge goal, with many parts. I'm not sure I'll meet this goal in 2019. I have to balance knowing myself with revision and word count and habit goals. I've stepped back my goals for 2019 so that I have more room to write when I can, not when I have to. I need to find what works for me, and how to be the best writer possible. I can't let myself fall into old habits because they're easy. I'm dedicating 2019 to asking questions and making small goals.

So for the beginning of the year, I have 2 goals to work toward this week: read 2 books, write 3 poems. I'm working toward them. But if I don't meet those goals, that's okay. There's always next week, and I'll have learned something about myself in the process.

shelf

2018-12-30 19:31
raxeira: (s;; blooming city)
this is the shelf of things read, seen, and listened to in 2018.



goals & shelf )

GYWO!

2018-12-14 21:23
raxeira: by raxeira (th;; smoking)

GetYourWordsOut: Year Eleven!
Pledges & Requirements | GYWO.net

~~~


Alright, so many of you know that I've been participating in [community profile] getyourwordsout for the past few years. Apparently it's been five years or so, which is crazy. This is such a great community, with extremely enthusiastic and supportive writers and fantastic resources. If you're not yet a member, it's a great community to be in as a writer. And the goals are very flexible and attainable for writers of all kinds.

I've done some great things in the community. One year I wrote over 300k words, and this year I've written for 350 days out of the year. I've started and run a Book Club for writers, an endeavor that is still in development. I've pushed myself so far and tried new things, and it's been wonderful. This year I'm terrified honored to accept the privilege of stepping up to be a mod. Basically thing means I have great power, and great responsibility. /o\

I pledged to write for 240 days in 2019. I really like the Habit pledges because they let me shape my writing time as I need to. I don't have to count words, I just have to sit down and write. This year I found the 350 day pledge a bit stifling. It felt like the pledge to write for 350 days pushed me into a cage, where I had not choice about writing, even when the day was difficult. (My issues with commitment and failure are for a post of another kind.) I pushed myself every day this year, with the exception of just a few days, and it left me exhausted. I also feel like this year, I let writing take me away from the living of life. I committed to writing 350 days, and promptly hid in my apartment and set to it. I let writing be an excuse for me to avoid going out and trying new things and living a multi-faceted life. I am definitely an introvert, but I'm not that much of an introvert.

In 2019 my goal is to continue to be a writer and have a rich writing life, but also to live more. I need to read more and relax more. I need to go out and breathe fresh air, and do the kinds of things that will inspire my writing. I need to give myself space to think about writing more, without the pressure of pushing out words. I need to see my friends more often and have more fun. I'm not yet thirty, yet I'm living life like if I take it easy, I'll lose everything. I need to chill the fuck out.

And what a goal that is.
raxeira: (s;; shallow sea)
I've been thinking a lot about mythic fiction recently. Actually, I've been thinking about mythic fiction for ages, although I just started properly thinking about this recently. I love the old stories. I've always read and loved them, but I didn't figure out that it was the old stories that I loved until now.

In high school, the only books I read and loved were the myths. I remember vividly that the first graphic novel I ever loved was Sandman, followed shortly thereafter by Fables. I've read many other graphic novels, but those series still jump out at me as favorites. I love Naomi Novik's fairy tale retellings - Uprooted and Spinning Silver - and when I stumbled upon Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses series, I was head over heels*. I can't even begin to list the numerous fanfic, novels, and short stories I've read just because they are patterned on fables and folktales. My favorite kinds of stories are the ones that are pattern on the old myths and tales, but take them in new directions, reinventing them and turning them inside out.

I don't really know why I love these stories so much. Is it the fact that they are patterns, and always familiar? Is it the fact that they touch on deep human archetypes? Is it that I love to subvert tropes, and see them subverted?

In the interest of finding out, I've taken to doing some research, and now have various academic articles with titles like "Fairy Tales, Myths, and Religious Stories" and "The Cultural Evolution of Storytelling and Fairy
Tales: Human Communication and Memetics" and "Fairy-Tale Symbolism: An Overview" pulled up and ready to go. I've been working on a fairy tale of my own for the last week, and it feels tenuously promising.

I feel like it's an important realization. I am interested and obsessed by mythic tales; if I was able to go back to school and commit to a thesis, it would probably be on this. But it seems like I'll have to figure it out on my own for now.


*I have to admit I was sorely disappointed by the series in the end. The first book was a play on Beauty and the Beast, the second book a play on Hades and Persephone (<3), and the last book was a mess.

**I highly recommend all the other texts listed.

Q&A

2018-07-25 06:23
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
A few questions from the Writer's Meme, as kindly asked by [personal profile] oanja. Thanks so much for asking! Sorry I didn't get to these right away!

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

Oh, definitely the middle. It's that strange, nebulous part where everything can go in a thousand directions. I'm a fairly loose planner, so when I write I tend to find that my stories don't have solid structure. I start with a clear idea, start to feel my way toward the ending, and then get completely lost. My first drafts have messy middles that lead me in all sorts of wonderful new ideas, and which are hell to revise. I think this is why I haven't finished revising anything yet. Even on a second and third draft, I get lost somewhere in the middle and never find my way back out again.

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Single! I prefer to write and read single-character POV stories because I love the secrets. A single character can never know anything, and I love that fact. I like no knowing what's coming next and being in suspense with the character. (See above answer to learn how this fucks with my plotting and structure.) I've also found that I get overwhelmed with more than one character. I tend to get lost in a single character's story, and I can see a thousand different possibilities for them. That's hard enough. When I try to tackle more than one main character, my stories turn into an absolute mess. I did it once, and it was... awful.

2. Favorite part of writing.

Dreaming.

While I love the process of writing (especially a first draft), and sharing my writing with others always makes me jump for joy, it's the dreaming part that is the most exciting. I dream of new stories and places, new characters and plots, and of days when my stories will be published. I know it'll happen, but right now I'm still dreaming, and so that's the best part.

If you have a question you'd like to know the answer to, ask away! I'm always open! :)
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
I think we're all going to have to accept that I'm just awful at posting. This is true of all social media forums, where I consistently forget to post, comment, or involve myself regularly. So you have to believe me when I say that it isn't you - it really, really, truly is me.

Anyway, it's been a rough few months on the job & writing front. I'm doing all the right things (applying for jobs, promoting myself, writing, submitting stories), but nothing seems to be working out. And it's an awful, frustrating feeling. So instead of wallowing in it, I have decided to try to focus on the positive. Which is: I feel good about what I've been writing lately, and I'd like to talk more about writing.

I want to do this Writer's Meme (stolen from tumblr) but not all of it (because my god that's a lot). Pick a prompt or two or five for me to answer, and I will! Within the next week! With pictures! (I promise that I will manage to include at least 2 images with every response.

Writer's Prompts! )

Feel free to share/steal the list. I can link if credit is needed. I just stole it from tumblr, as previously mentioned. :)
raxeira: by raxeira (q;; always)
I'm considering trying to write something in the middle grade genre (ages 8-12) this summer, and I'm looking for prompts! This isn't a genre I've tried out before, and I'm not sure where to start. I just need a word or image to get me going so that I can start planning now.

I'll take any kind of prompts, really. From very simple one-word prompts to the situational ones. Any ideas you can send my way would be very appreciated.

Thanks!
raxeira: (s;; blooming city)
Hmmm.... Should I?

Join the H/D Food Fair 2018!

Prompting: Jun 5 – Jun 20
Claiming: Jun 23
Submissions due: Sep 18
Posting starts: Oct 1
Big Reveal: Nov 4


art by dustmouth
raxeira: by raxeira (a;; reclined)
While I have your attention, I'm asking if any of you could send a prompt my way. I'm looking forward to the 7 Days 7 Stories challenge going on next week at [community profile] getyourwordsout, but I'm short on ideas. I'm looking to write fantasy, science fiction, or maybe some nonfiction. I can't promise anything, of course, but I'll do my best to write you a very good story if you leave a comment. I love prompts that are words, situations, pictures, phrases... whatever!

Leave me an idea! (I think some of my best work comes out of prompts, just saying....)
raxeira: by raxeira (s;; heat)
I'm currently looking for a reader for some of my original fiction. I am in the process of revising two novel-length works and am looking trying to write more short stories. As I finish things, I need for a reader to give me some feedback. Are any of you available to read a few things? There is no rush on anything, and I rarely finish things - I'm just looking for someone to reach out to when I do. What do you think? Anyone available?
raxeira: by raxeira (s;; rebel)
I was so sad to hear that Ursula K. Le Guin died earlier this week. She existed for me as a slightly mythological figure, and I hadn't even been sure that she was still alive until I heard that she'd died. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't read any of her books. By the time I knew about them, my interests had shifted away from what I considered "classic fantasy" and I didn't pick them up.

I know now that I was wrong; Le Guin's books are anything but classic. They defined and redefined genres, are beautifully written and insightful, and inspired every one of the authors who has in turn inspired me. Still, her books have lingered on my To Read list for years, and I've never gotten around to reading them. Well, I will now. I have at least 2 open on my computer now, and I'm looking forward to diving in over the next few days.

-

I should like to pass along a recommendation! I'm my scant spare time this week I've been working my way through a fantastic fanfic! It's primarily Harry/Draco, but features charming divorcees, lots of cunning Slytherins, bickering bantering and teasing, children with the surnames of Weasley-Lovegood-Potter and Malfoy-Greengrass, empowered women, tons of people of color, intersex and bisexual and gay characters, and more!

It's written as an epistolary novel and is utterly fucking delightful and personable. Everything is vivid and hilarious and beautiful, and I haven't been so charmed by a fic in a long time.

Dear Enemy (69130 words) by GingerTodgers
Chapters: 74/74
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley
Additional Tags: Epistolary, Secret Identity, Orphanage, Harry Potter's School For Squibs, Slow Burn, Swearing, Politics, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Minor Pansy Parkinson/Greg Goyle, Light Angst
Summary: An anonymous benefactor makes a generous donation to Harry Potter's School for Squibs in exchange for a weekly letter from the Boy Who Lived.

What begins as a chore soon becomes the only outlet Harry has to talk about the war, love, life, hope, redemption, his renewed obsession with a certain blonde nemesis and how he really, honestly, believes that this will be the year Puddlemere United reclaim the Quidditch League Cup.

raxeira: (q;; HAPPY!)
There's a podfic for blóðflekkug!!!! I can't even speak properly about this! It's beautiful and so well done. It takes my writing and makes it into magic and I feel so lucky to have it!

It was made by a very old friend of mine who now lives in London, and she's so extraordinarily talented. Go! Leave her all the kudos and kind comments in the world! ♥!!!

blóðflekkug [podfic] (8 words) by incandescent, WhenasInSilks
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Thor (Movies), Norse Religion & Lore
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Hela (Marvel), Frigga (Marvel), Odin (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Hela-centric, Character Study, Non-Linear Narrative, Female-Centric, No excuses, just context, because Odin is a terrible father, which has been proven time and again, and it's a miracle his children didn't kill him, some mythological content, some Marvel content, some stuff that's just made up, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes
Summary:

podfic of blóðflekkug, by incandescent.

"Hela, my child, do you know what it means to be firstborn?" he asks me.

raxeira: by raxeira (s;; rebel)
I am so very unexcited for today, the first day back at work since the holidays began over a week ago. Oh well, it had to happen some time. (At least I have a job to go back to this year!)

I have a couple fics to share, written at the end of last year!

The first is my Yuletide fic. I was lucky enough to write for the amazing [personal profile] beatrice_otter and the fandom of Wonder Woman this year. The fic is a bit difficult and unusual, but I've had enough kind comments to let me think that it's a solid story.

This story was a pain and a half to write; I came to like it in the end.

éternité (8811 words) by incandescent
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Wonder Woman (2017), The Sandman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Diana (Wonder Woman), Hippolyta (Wonder Woman), The Amazons (Wonder Woman), Daniel Hall, Lucifer Morningstar
Additional Tags: Worldbuilding, The Sandman (Comics) - Freeform, slight crossover, within DC universes, Comics/Movie Crossover, and a bit of mythology too, Symbolism, Dreams
Summary:

Diana has been having the strangest dreams, and she can't seem to shake them.

That's how she knows that there is magic involved.




The next story is that Frostiron PWP that I mentioned last week. I wrote it for whenas-in-silks on tumblr (a very old friend). I personally think it's a bit messy and strange, but I had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm so glad that I spent the nights of my holiday vacation writing chapter after chapter, submerging myself in dubious consent and genderbending and difficult characters. It was a fantastic way to end the year.

broken in my throat (13828 words) by incandescent
Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Peripheral Plot, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, Magic, Sex Magic, Anal Fingering, Vaginal Fingering, Fingerfucking, Magic Fingers, Hand & Finger Kink, Voice Kink, Identity Porn, Blow Jobs, First Time, First Kiss, Rough Sex, Biting, Telepathy, Dream Sex, Rimming, 69 (Sex Position), Genderswap, Rule 63, Genderbending, Lazy Mornings, Lazy Sex, Hand Jobs, Desk Sex, Clothed Sex, Armor, Armor Kink, Strangulation, Happy Ending
Summary:

Five times Loki came to Tony, and one time Tony brought Loki back.

raxeira: by raxeira (s;; rebel)
I can't take credit for the naming of post-holiday days as liminal spaces, but I subscribe wholly to it. These days between Christmas and the new year are very strange to live through, as we all suffer the aftershocks of the holiday just finished and wait for the one to come.

Last night's family holiday dinner was... abut as exhausting as I thought it would be. My cousins have no control or interest in controlling their little children, who ran rampant through their grandparents' house. Presents were ripped open and tossed aside, most of the adults were thoughtless and over-critical, and there was even an incident of vomiting. I left fairly stressed out, and ended up dreaming about it all night. :/

-

On a positive note, I came home to AMAZING Yuletide fics! I'm not being polite or kind when I say that my Yuletide fics were both beautiful, charming, and made me laugh out loud. And yes, you read that right - I was lucky enough to receive two fics this year!

Go read and enjoy and leave showers of kudos for the authors - they're worth it!

Wind Sweeping Away Lingering Snow (風捲殘雪) (7318 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Mulan (1998)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Fa Mulan (Disney), Li Shang, Fa Zhou, Yao (Disney), Ling (Disney), Chien Po (Disney), Grandmother Fa (Disney), Fa Li, Mushu (Disney), Cri-kee (Disney), Khan (Disney), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Post-Canon
Summary:

Mulan’s not lost, exactly. She’s just... taking the long, scenic route around to find her way back from the war. Wherever that may lead her...


Mulan is back from the war, and completely lost.

“Welcome home!” yells Butcher Chan.

Well. Not quite.



Starting Over (1730 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Mulan (1998)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Fa Mulan (Disney)
Additional Tags: Introspection
Summary:

It was supposed to be easier back at home, ensconced with her family again.

raxeira: by raxeira (text;; revolution)



Self-Published Writing
~mostly fanfiction~
//cross-posted @ao3//


Master List of Fanworks )

Custom Text

Laura
writer of spec fic, poetry, and memoir
she/her
formerly lmeden, incandescent

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raxeira: by raxeira (Default)
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